Sometimes your mom and dad can be really frustrating, unfair or even humiliating, which may make you more likely to argue with them. How can you keep your temper in check and prevent fights with your parents when they're are getting on your nerves? Read on for some helpful tips.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: 15-60 minutes, plus lots of patience
Here's How:
1. Slow down and think.
Taking things a bit slower lets you recognize and sort through your feelings as they happen. If you can recognize that you're feeling annoyed or angry, you may be better able to keep yourself from taking it out on Mom or Dad.
2.Count to 10.
This is another method for getting yourself to slow down and think about how you feel before you act. Take a deep breath, count slowly, then ask yourself how you feel and why. You may realize that it's not the best time to criticize your Dad's opinion, for example, and help yourself out by picking a better time to discuss your point of view with him.
3. Think of a way that your parents have helped or pleased you.
Everyone acts like a monster sometimes and an angel at others. Try to remember a time when your parents were being as wonderful as ever to balance out the negative feeling you're having about them at the moment.
4.Remind yourself that fighting usually doesn't solve problems.
You may not be feeling particularly rational, but try to use your head: Will picking a fight help resolve the situation at hand, or is there perhaps a better way? How can you address the issue calmly and with a clear head?
5.Don't be so hard on yourself.
So your dad's angry about your grades or your mom doesn't like your boyfriend or girlfriend. They're entitled to their opinions, but their opinions don't make you a bad person. You're allowed to have your own opinions, too. Use them wisely.
6. Consider what else is going on in your parents' lives.
Does your dad have the flu? Is your mom overworked? If they're behaving badly, it's no excuse, but it does give you some insight into why they might be more difficult than usual to get along with at the moment. Try to cut 'em some slack.
7.Consider what else is going on in your own life.
Are you not feeling well or reeling from a fight with a friend? Cut yourself some slack, too. Don't let your feelings about other events and people color how you treat your family members -- or anyone else, for that matter. You'd probably hate it if they did that to you, right?
8.Politely remind others that you need a little space.
If you can, calmly let your parents know you're feeling frustrated or moody and that it might be best for them to bring up touchy issues at another time. If they're not cooperating, try to set a time and place to talk later, when you're in a better mood.
Tips:
1. All fights can't be avoided, and sometimes a fight is needed to work out an issue. However, you should be proud of yourself when you succeed in keeping your emotions in check: It's a tough skill but a useful one.
2. Remember, your parents are people, too -- people who make mistakes, just like you.
3. If you can, find another way of getting out your anger and frustration, such as exercise, art or music. You may find that it improves your relationships with others and/or makes you a calmer person in general.
Monday, December 7, 2009
How To Disagree with Your Parents Respectfully
Tips on presenting yourself calmly and maturely in a family argument
Being respectful and tactful when disagreeing with a parent or another family member can go a long way. Here are a few quick tips on how to disagree in a mature way without feeling like a doormat:
1. Think before you speak: Don't let angry words fly out of your mouth if you don't mean them. Otherwise, you'll have a lot of cleanup to do later.
2. Put yourself in the other person's shoes: How would you feel if you were your mom or dad? Where are they coming from in this situation? Have they got a point?
3. Listen: Maybe the person you're disagreeing with isn't as off-base or unfair as you think. Hear them out, then decide how to approach the situation.
4. Focus on needs rather than conflict: Be clear about what you need rather than focusing on why you disagree. Stress to the other person that you want to come up with a solution with them rather than work against them.
5. Use "I" rather than "You": In particular, use specific "I" statements rather than general "you" statements. For example, saying "I feel really bad about myself when you talk about my math grades in front of the neighbors" is more effective than "You make other people think I'm stupid!"
6. Steer clear of personal attacks: Don't tell your dad he's a jerk; tell him that his opinion matters to you, then explain why you don't see eye to eye.
7. Try to stay calm: If you find yourself getting too angry or frustrated, don't hesitate to ask for some time to cool off. If you can, arrange a different time to discuss the issue with your parents.
Being respectful and tactful when disagreeing with a parent or another family member can go a long way. Here are a few quick tips on how to disagree in a mature way without feeling like a doormat:
1. Think before you speak: Don't let angry words fly out of your mouth if you don't mean them. Otherwise, you'll have a lot of cleanup to do later.
2. Put yourself in the other person's shoes: How would you feel if you were your mom or dad? Where are they coming from in this situation? Have they got a point?
3. Listen: Maybe the person you're disagreeing with isn't as off-base or unfair as you think. Hear them out, then decide how to approach the situation.
4. Focus on needs rather than conflict: Be clear about what you need rather than focusing on why you disagree. Stress to the other person that you want to come up with a solution with them rather than work against them.
5. Use "I" rather than "You": In particular, use specific "I" statements rather than general "you" statements. For example, saying "I feel really bad about myself when you talk about my math grades in front of the neighbors" is more effective than "You make other people think I'm stupid!"
6. Steer clear of personal attacks: Don't tell your dad he's a jerk; tell him that his opinion matters to you, then explain why you don't see eye to eye.
7. Try to stay calm: If you find yourself getting too angry or frustrated, don't hesitate to ask for some time to cool off. If you can, arrange a different time to discuss the issue with your parents.
How To Make Friends at a New School
(Terjemahan Indonesia di bagian bawah)
You're about to start a new school and want to make friends there. What do you do? Here are some tips on how to meet people and make friends at a new school and how to adjust to your new surroundings.
Difficulty: Average
Time Required: 30 minutes per day -- more if you can
Here's How:
1. Be as confident as you can, but avoid being pushy or cocky. There's nothing that attracts people more than someone who's secure in who they are and has a fairly positive attitude about life in general and other people's ideas, too.
2. Smile and laugh. It sounds like a no-brainer, but it really works: Make eye contact with others, smile at them when they look at you, and laugh when they say something that's funny or amusing to you. It's a great conversation starter, and it makes you seem friendly and approachable.
3. Invite others to do things. In a lot of cases, you'll need to make the first move to find potential friends. Ask some people to share a table at lunch or study hall, borrow or lend a sheet of notebook paper, ask someone to be your volleyball partner in gym class -- you get the idea. Once you've found a few people you like, ask them to grab a bit to eat or play video games after school.
4. Join some clubs and activities. A new school and a new group of classmates offer a great opportunities to explore some new interests. Try out for a school play or sports team, join the yearbook committee or try attending a few school-sponsored volunteer activities through groups such as Key Club or Circle K. You're virtually guaranteed to meet people who share your interests -- and are looking to make new friends, too.
5. Have an opinion. Are you a die-hard fan of the Chicago Bears or "Gossip Girl"? Are you passionate about helping the homeless or preventing destruction of the rainforest? Speak up. Offer your opinions in class and share your unique viewpoints in conversation. As others what their opinions are. People will remember you in no time -- and want to talk to you and, most likely, hang out to get to know you better.
6. Remember people's names. Do your best to remember other people's names and interests. More importantly, don't be afraid to ask people more than once what their names are. Say something like, "I remember you said something really interesting about X yesterday and wanted to talk about it some more, but I'm new here and don't remember your name yet. Could you remind me what it is?"
Tips:
1. Give yourself a little pep talk before you approach new people: You're an interesting and unique person who'd make a great friend. That's an offer they can't refuse!
2. Point out things that you have in common with other people. Does the girl sitting next to you live in your neighborhood? Is the guy at the locker next to yours listening to the same things as you on his iPod? Introduce yourself, say that you're new, and ask them about themselves -- and the thing that you have in common.
3. Don't be too hard on yourself. Making new friends takes a lot of time and effort. Let things play out naturally and be patient. In the meantime, rely on your family and, if you can, friends from your old school or neighborhood until you get situated at your new school (and afterwards, too, of course).
4. Be a good listener. Being a good listener helps you relate better to other people, wins their confidence, and helps you be a better friend. It also shows that you're not self-centered.
5. Be sensitive to others' strengths, weaknesses and needs. Don't make friends by picking on other people's flaws: It will most likely come back to haunt you. It's more helpful to focus on what other people are good at and find ways you can help balance out their weaker areas. For instance, is a classmate nervous about the next science test? Offer to study with them or tell them about a time you were nervous about a test but succeeded (and that they can succeed, too).
Terjemahan Bebas
(Sorry, blm smpt nerjemahin. klo mau terjemahan article ini tolong click "QUESTION???" -Paling atas- dan minta k admin. Thank you bwt p'ngertiannya.)
You're about to start a new school and want to make friends there. What do you do? Here are some tips on how to meet people and make friends at a new school and how to adjust to your new surroundings.
Difficulty: Average
Time Required: 30 minutes per day -- more if you can
Here's How:
1. Be as confident as you can, but avoid being pushy or cocky. There's nothing that attracts people more than someone who's secure in who they are and has a fairly positive attitude about life in general and other people's ideas, too.
2. Smile and laugh. It sounds like a no-brainer, but it really works: Make eye contact with others, smile at them when they look at you, and laugh when they say something that's funny or amusing to you. It's a great conversation starter, and it makes you seem friendly and approachable.
3. Invite others to do things. In a lot of cases, you'll need to make the first move to find potential friends. Ask some people to share a table at lunch or study hall, borrow or lend a sheet of notebook paper, ask someone to be your volleyball partner in gym class -- you get the idea. Once you've found a few people you like, ask them to grab a bit to eat or play video games after school.
4. Join some clubs and activities. A new school and a new group of classmates offer a great opportunities to explore some new interests. Try out for a school play or sports team, join the yearbook committee or try attending a few school-sponsored volunteer activities through groups such as Key Club or Circle K. You're virtually guaranteed to meet people who share your interests -- and are looking to make new friends, too.
5. Have an opinion. Are you a die-hard fan of the Chicago Bears or "Gossip Girl"? Are you passionate about helping the homeless or preventing destruction of the rainforest? Speak up. Offer your opinions in class and share your unique viewpoints in conversation. As others what their opinions are. People will remember you in no time -- and want to talk to you and, most likely, hang out to get to know you better.
6. Remember people's names. Do your best to remember other people's names and interests. More importantly, don't be afraid to ask people more than once what their names are. Say something like, "I remember you said something really interesting about X yesterday and wanted to talk about it some more, but I'm new here and don't remember your name yet. Could you remind me what it is?"
Tips:
1. Give yourself a little pep talk before you approach new people: You're an interesting and unique person who'd make a great friend. That's an offer they can't refuse!
2. Point out things that you have in common with other people. Does the girl sitting next to you live in your neighborhood? Is the guy at the locker next to yours listening to the same things as you on his iPod? Introduce yourself, say that you're new, and ask them about themselves -- and the thing that you have in common.
3. Don't be too hard on yourself. Making new friends takes a lot of time and effort. Let things play out naturally and be patient. In the meantime, rely on your family and, if you can, friends from your old school or neighborhood until you get situated at your new school (and afterwards, too, of course).
4. Be a good listener. Being a good listener helps you relate better to other people, wins their confidence, and helps you be a better friend. It also shows that you're not self-centered.
5. Be sensitive to others' strengths, weaknesses and needs. Don't make friends by picking on other people's flaws: It will most likely come back to haunt you. It's more helpful to focus on what other people are good at and find ways you can help balance out their weaker areas. For instance, is a classmate nervous about the next science test? Offer to study with them or tell them about a time you were nervous about a test but succeeded (and that they can succeed, too).
Terjemahan Bebas
(Sorry, blm smpt nerjemahin. klo mau terjemahan article ini tolong click "QUESTION???" -Paling atas- dan minta k admin. Thank you bwt p'ngertiannya.)
How To Approach a Friend in Trouble
Cra Mendekati Teman yg sedang ada masalh
(Terjemahan Indonesia di bagian bawah)
Friends can struggle with all sorts of difficult issues: health troubles, eating disorders, drug problems, the loss of a parent or even depression. How should you approach a friend who seems troubled, especially if you're not exactly sure what's wrong?
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: A lot: It depends what your friend needs and wants from you.
Here's How:
1. Make sure you have evidence that your friend has a problem. Have you noticed a major change in their behavior? Have other people witnessed any changes in their behavior or given you clues about what the problem might be? Or, is it possible that your friend is just in a bad mood?
2. If you have reason to believe your friend is in trouble, think of a genuine way to state your concern. A statement such as "I noticed you've been feeling kind of down lately and acting different from usual" could be a good starting point, just be sure you can back up your claim about a change in your friend's behavior. They're likely to ask you how they seem different.
3. Prepare yourself for a bad reaction from your friend: It's quite possible that they will deny having a problem, get defensive or feel embarrassed because they've been trying to hide the problem in an effort to seem normal to others.
4. If your friend is not willing to discuss the problem with you, tell them that you care about them and are willing to talk when they're ready.
5. Approach them again about the problem after a few days or weeks. Remind them again that you are ready to talk when they are and that no problem is too big or scary for your friendship. Your friend may fear that you will leave them if the problem is a serious one: Emphasize that you are ready to stay with them and stick up for them.
6. If your friend is willing to share details about the problem, listen calmly and carefully. As them how the problem began and how they are feeling about it. Ask them what you can do to help.
7. If necessary, encourage your friend to talk to a counselor, a doctor or a parent. Offer to go with them for moral support.
8. If your friend refuses to talk about the problem and it seems to be getting worse, you may need to ask a parent, teacher, counselor or someone your friend trusts very much for help.
Tips:
1. Do not jump to conclusions about what your friend's problem may be.
2. Avoid spreading gossip or starting rumors about what might be troubling your friend.
3. Unless the situation gets more serious, try to get your friend to talk about the problem with you before getting others involved.
4. However, if your friend threatens to hurt themself or someone else, you must call 911 or a suicide hotline, take them to a hospital, or at the very least tell an adult.
5. Remember, being there for your friend to listen and support them is the absolute best thing you can do for them!
Terjemahan Bebas
(Sorry, blm smpt nerjemahin. klo mau terjemahan article ini tolong click "QUESTION???" -Paling atas- dan minta k admin. Thank you bwt p'ngertiannya.)
(Terjemahan Indonesia di bagian bawah)
Friends can struggle with all sorts of difficult issues: health troubles, eating disorders, drug problems, the loss of a parent or even depression. How should you approach a friend who seems troubled, especially if you're not exactly sure what's wrong?
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: A lot: It depends what your friend needs and wants from you.
Here's How:
1. Make sure you have evidence that your friend has a problem. Have you noticed a major change in their behavior? Have other people witnessed any changes in their behavior or given you clues about what the problem might be? Or, is it possible that your friend is just in a bad mood?
2. If you have reason to believe your friend is in trouble, think of a genuine way to state your concern. A statement such as "I noticed you've been feeling kind of down lately and acting different from usual" could be a good starting point, just be sure you can back up your claim about a change in your friend's behavior. They're likely to ask you how they seem different.
3. Prepare yourself for a bad reaction from your friend: It's quite possible that they will deny having a problem, get defensive or feel embarrassed because they've been trying to hide the problem in an effort to seem normal to others.
4. If your friend is not willing to discuss the problem with you, tell them that you care about them and are willing to talk when they're ready.
5. Approach them again about the problem after a few days or weeks. Remind them again that you are ready to talk when they are and that no problem is too big or scary for your friendship. Your friend may fear that you will leave them if the problem is a serious one: Emphasize that you are ready to stay with them and stick up for them.
6. If your friend is willing to share details about the problem, listen calmly and carefully. As them how the problem began and how they are feeling about it. Ask them what you can do to help.
7. If necessary, encourage your friend to talk to a counselor, a doctor or a parent. Offer to go with them for moral support.
8. If your friend refuses to talk about the problem and it seems to be getting worse, you may need to ask a parent, teacher, counselor or someone your friend trusts very much for help.
Tips:
1. Do not jump to conclusions about what your friend's problem may be.
2. Avoid spreading gossip or starting rumors about what might be troubling your friend.
3. Unless the situation gets more serious, try to get your friend to talk about the problem with you before getting others involved.
4. However, if your friend threatens to hurt themself or someone else, you must call 911 or a suicide hotline, take them to a hospital, or at the very least tell an adult.
5. Remember, being there for your friend to listen and support them is the absolute best thing you can do for them!
Terjemahan Bebas
(Sorry, blm smpt nerjemahin. klo mau terjemahan article ini tolong click "QUESTION???" -Paling atas- dan minta k admin. Thank you bwt p'ngertiannya.)
Sunday, December 6, 2009
How To Find True Friends
Bagaimana cara menemukan sahabat sejati
(Terjemahan Indonesia di bagian bawah)
8 Qualities of a Good Friend
What are the qualities of a good friend? True friendships can start instantly but they take time to build. Here are a few qualities to look for when making friends as a teen -- and beyond.
1. A good friend is honest.
A good friend may not share every detail of every second of their life, but they do try to be clear about their intentions. This means that they try to present an accurate picture of who they are and of different situations. When something doesn't seem right, they let you know.
2. A good friend is fun, unique and interesting.
OK, this is a given, and probably the reason you became friends in the first place. But there's a lot to be said for chemistry and shared interests.
As for fun, it depends how you define it: Some friends are fun because they're the life of the party, others are fun because they notice every strange little detail about a situation. Some people are fun simply because they see life like no one else does.
3. A good friend is attentive and adaptable.
A good friend is at least a fairly good listener and notices how little, day-to-day things affect you. They can't read your mind, but chances are they can usually tell when you're happy, sad, excited, shocked or upset. If they're aware that they're doing something that annoys you, they try to change their ways or at least talk to you about it.
4. A good friend is supportive of you and your goals.
Sure, your friend may think you're cool, but are they on the same page as you? Do they know what you want most out of life? A really good friend will know what makes you tick and help you become the person you want to be. They won't try to change who you are or drag you into situations that make you uncomfortable or put you at risk of losing something that matters to you.
5. A good friend is a friend you can trust.
A true friend won't try to steal your girlfriend or boyfriend, your job or your personality. They won't gossip about you constantly or try to damage your reputation. They will let you know when they're concerned and do their best to stick up for you when you're in trouble.
6. A good friend makes it clear that they care about you.
Different people may have different ways of letting you know that they care about you. One person may give you a big hug whereas another person might gently tease you. A big clue that someone cares is that they talk to you fairly often and, in general, know what's going on in your life and act interested about it.
7. A good friend sticks with you in good times and bad.
Loyalty is a quality almost everyone lists when asked what they look for in a friend. A loyal friend will stick with you when your new play is a flop, when you bomb the SATs or when your parents get divorced. If you move or switch schools, they'll do their best to stay in touch with you.
8. A good friend accepts you for who you are, even when you're being a butthead.
In friendship, being accepting goes hand in hand with being loyal. A true friend rolls with the punches as you grow and change and know how to deal with your quirks and faults.
They are also patient with you when you make mistakes -- even big ones -- and learn how to forgive you when you hurt them. In other words, they treat you as you'd like to be treated, even when you aren't at your best.
Terjemahan Bebas
(Sorry, blm smpt nerjemahin. klo mau terjemahan article ini tolong click "QUESTION???" -Paling atas- dan minta k admin. Thank you bwt p'ngertiannya.)
(Terjemahan Indonesia di bagian bawah)
8 Qualities of a Good Friend
What are the qualities of a good friend? True friendships can start instantly but they take time to build. Here are a few qualities to look for when making friends as a teen -- and beyond.
1. A good friend is honest.
A good friend may not share every detail of every second of their life, but they do try to be clear about their intentions. This means that they try to present an accurate picture of who they are and of different situations. When something doesn't seem right, they let you know.
2. A good friend is fun, unique and interesting.
OK, this is a given, and probably the reason you became friends in the first place. But there's a lot to be said for chemistry and shared interests.
As for fun, it depends how you define it: Some friends are fun because they're the life of the party, others are fun because they notice every strange little detail about a situation. Some people are fun simply because they see life like no one else does.
3. A good friend is attentive and adaptable.
A good friend is at least a fairly good listener and notices how little, day-to-day things affect you. They can't read your mind, but chances are they can usually tell when you're happy, sad, excited, shocked or upset. If they're aware that they're doing something that annoys you, they try to change their ways or at least talk to you about it.
4. A good friend is supportive of you and your goals.
Sure, your friend may think you're cool, but are they on the same page as you? Do they know what you want most out of life? A really good friend will know what makes you tick and help you become the person you want to be. They won't try to change who you are or drag you into situations that make you uncomfortable or put you at risk of losing something that matters to you.
5. A good friend is a friend you can trust.
A true friend won't try to steal your girlfriend or boyfriend, your job or your personality. They won't gossip about you constantly or try to damage your reputation. They will let you know when they're concerned and do their best to stick up for you when you're in trouble.
6. A good friend makes it clear that they care about you.
Different people may have different ways of letting you know that they care about you. One person may give you a big hug whereas another person might gently tease you. A big clue that someone cares is that they talk to you fairly often and, in general, know what's going on in your life and act interested about it.
7. A good friend sticks with you in good times and bad.
Loyalty is a quality almost everyone lists when asked what they look for in a friend. A loyal friend will stick with you when your new play is a flop, when you bomb the SATs or when your parents get divorced. If you move or switch schools, they'll do their best to stay in touch with you.
8. A good friend accepts you for who you are, even when you're being a butthead.
In friendship, being accepting goes hand in hand with being loyal. A true friend rolls with the punches as you grow and change and know how to deal with your quirks and faults.
They are also patient with you when you make mistakes -- even big ones -- and learn how to forgive you when you hurt them. In other words, they treat you as you'd like to be treated, even when you aren't at your best.
Terjemahan Bebas
(Sorry, blm smpt nerjemahin. klo mau terjemahan article ini tolong click "QUESTION???" -Paling atas- dan minta k admin. Thank you bwt p'ngertiannya.)
How To Deal with a Jealous Friend
Bagaimana Cara Mengatasi Teman Yang Cemburuan
(Terjemahan Indonesia di bagian bawah)
Dealing with a jealous friend isn't easy. It can be downright frustrating. Find out how to make the best of the situation, be fair to yourself and your friend, and, if possible, preserve the friendship. It can be done!
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: A lot of time and patience.
Here's How:
1. Try to find out why your friend is jealous. Is it something you said? Is it something you have little or no control over, such as your looks or your family? Is it something your friend should be supportive of, such as your grades or a special talent of yours?
2. Once you know where the jealousy comes from, try to be empathetic: Imagine you're your friend or how you'd feel in the same situation.
3. Find out what your friend really wants to have. Do they wish they felt smarter or had more supportive parents? Maybe you can be helpful. Let them know that you believe in them and ask what you can do help them get what they want.
4. Try not to brag, show off or make things that would make your friend feel frustrated. This will only fan the flames of the jealousy.
5. Show that you're happy about your life, but be sure to show interest and excitement about things going on in your friend's life, too. Take some time to point out some of their unique strengths and good qualities.
6. Sometimes jealousy is mixed with a lot of anger. If your efforts to listen to your friend and encourage them aren't working, give them some time to cool off. They may need to work out their feelings alone or with someone who's not the object of their jealousy.
7. Recruit some extra support for yourself, too: Another friend, a relative or a girlfriend/boyfriend may be able to help you sort out your feelings about being the object of your friend's jealousy. A lot of people feel bad about making someone else jealous, so be sure to remind yourself why you're a good person, too!
Terjemahan Bebas
(Sorry, blm smpt nerjemahin. klo mau terjemahan article ini tolong click "QUESTION???" -Paling atas- dan minta k admin. Thank you bwt p'ngertiannya.)
(Terjemahan Indonesia di bagian bawah)
Dealing with a jealous friend isn't easy. It can be downright frustrating. Find out how to make the best of the situation, be fair to yourself and your friend, and, if possible, preserve the friendship. It can be done!
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: A lot of time and patience.
Here's How:
1. Try to find out why your friend is jealous. Is it something you said? Is it something you have little or no control over, such as your looks or your family? Is it something your friend should be supportive of, such as your grades or a special talent of yours?
2. Once you know where the jealousy comes from, try to be empathetic: Imagine you're your friend or how you'd feel in the same situation.
3. Find out what your friend really wants to have. Do they wish they felt smarter or had more supportive parents? Maybe you can be helpful. Let them know that you believe in them and ask what you can do help them get what they want.
4. Try not to brag, show off or make things that would make your friend feel frustrated. This will only fan the flames of the jealousy.
5. Show that you're happy about your life, but be sure to show interest and excitement about things going on in your friend's life, too. Take some time to point out some of their unique strengths and good qualities.
6. Sometimes jealousy is mixed with a lot of anger. If your efforts to listen to your friend and encourage them aren't working, give them some time to cool off. They may need to work out their feelings alone or with someone who's not the object of their jealousy.
7. Recruit some extra support for yourself, too: Another friend, a relative or a girlfriend/boyfriend may be able to help you sort out your feelings about being the object of your friend's jealousy. A lot of people feel bad about making someone else jealous, so be sure to remind yourself why you're a good person, too!
Terjemahan Bebas
(Sorry, blm smpt nerjemahin. klo mau terjemahan article ini tolong click "QUESTION???" -Paling atas- dan minta k admin. Thank you bwt p'ngertiannya.)
Friday, December 4, 2009
Six Friendship Rules to Live By
6 Aturan Persahabatan Yang Harus Dijalani
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)
Being friends through thick and thin is no small feat. Make your friendships deeper and stronger with this list of friendship tips.
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)
Being friends through thick and thin is no small feat. Make your friendships deeper and stronger with this list of friendship tips.
How To Build Your Self-Esteem
Cara Membangun Rasa Bangga Terhadap Diri Sendiri
(Terjemahan Indonesia di bagian bawah)
It may sound a little cheesy, but feeling good about who you are -- that is, having a healthy amount of self-esteem and self-confidence -- is one of those things that will help make your life happier and more successful. Having confidence in yourself and your abilities goes a long way whether you're facing a tough decision, adapting to a new situation or standing up against peer pressure. Here are some tips on how to build your self-esteem.
1. Take a deep breath.
Staying relaxed and being laid-back in general can help you see the bigger picture and not sweat the small stuff so much. It's also a good frame of mind to be in when you're taking a close look at the things you're not so good at.
2. Take inventory of your strengths.
Everybody's good at something, and many people are good at quite a few things. Even if you don't have a talent or strength that you're aware of, you probably have some interests you can develop into strengths.
Make a list of a few things you're good at and a few things you're interested in and would like to be better at. Share this list with your parents, an aunt or uncle, or a teacher you like and trust. They can probably help you find other things you're good at, too, and help you come up with a plan for developing other skills and interests.
3. Realize your limits.
Nobody's perfect -- not even close. It may not always seem this way, but it's true. So if you weren't born a good singer, a super athlete or an "A" student, that's OK. You have a personality and a perspective on the world that's all your own and completely valuable -- even if you suck at basketball, have a big nose or look terrible in leggings.
4. Stop putting yourself down. Now!
One of the biggest things that keeps people from achieving their goals -- and feeling good about themselves -- is negative self-talk. In other words, telling yourself that you're a loser or a failure puts a big damper on your ability to get what you want and be who you want.
If you don't do well at a particular project or task, it doesn't mean that you never will. Perhaps you weren't prepared or the time simply wasn't right. It doesn't mean that you're a lousy human being or that you'll never succeed. It's OK to be upset for a bit when things don't go your way, but after a little while, let it go and move on. You'll be that much closer to achieving what you want if you do.
5. Celebrate progress and small victories.
Did you pass your driver's test or give a killer speech despite feeling nervous? Give credit where credit's due: You did it, and you rule! And guess what? You can tackle bigger, harder projects, too.
6. Pat yourself on the back every day.
Find a few small things that you did well each day. Whether it's waking up on time, smiling at the dorky hall monitor or sending a card to your grandmother, a lot of good can be accomplished in one day -- and it's something to take pride in.
(Terjemahan Indonesia di bagian bawah)
It may sound a little cheesy, but feeling good about who you are -- that is, having a healthy amount of self-esteem and self-confidence -- is one of those things that will help make your life happier and more successful. Having confidence in yourself and your abilities goes a long way whether you're facing a tough decision, adapting to a new situation or standing up against peer pressure. Here are some tips on how to build your self-esteem.
1. Take a deep breath.
Staying relaxed and being laid-back in general can help you see the bigger picture and not sweat the small stuff so much. It's also a good frame of mind to be in when you're taking a close look at the things you're not so good at.
2. Take inventory of your strengths.
Everybody's good at something, and many people are good at quite a few things. Even if you don't have a talent or strength that you're aware of, you probably have some interests you can develop into strengths.
Make a list of a few things you're good at and a few things you're interested in and would like to be better at. Share this list with your parents, an aunt or uncle, or a teacher you like and trust. They can probably help you find other things you're good at, too, and help you come up with a plan for developing other skills and interests.
3. Realize your limits.
Nobody's perfect -- not even close. It may not always seem this way, but it's true. So if you weren't born a good singer, a super athlete or an "A" student, that's OK. You have a personality and a perspective on the world that's all your own and completely valuable -- even if you suck at basketball, have a big nose or look terrible in leggings.
4. Stop putting yourself down. Now!
One of the biggest things that keeps people from achieving their goals -- and feeling good about themselves -- is negative self-talk. In other words, telling yourself that you're a loser or a failure puts a big damper on your ability to get what you want and be who you want.
If you don't do well at a particular project or task, it doesn't mean that you never will. Perhaps you weren't prepared or the time simply wasn't right. It doesn't mean that you're a lousy human being or that you'll never succeed. It's OK to be upset for a bit when things don't go your way, but after a little while, let it go and move on. You'll be that much closer to achieving what you want if you do.
5. Celebrate progress and small victories.
Did you pass your driver's test or give a killer speech despite feeling nervous? Give credit where credit's due: You did it, and you rule! And guess what? You can tackle bigger, harder projects, too.
6. Pat yourself on the back every day.
Find a few small things that you did well each day. Whether it's waking up on time, smiling at the dorky hall monitor or sending a card to your grandmother, a lot of good can be accomplished in one day -- and it's something to take pride in.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
How To Break Up With Someone
Cara Mutusin Pacar
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)
You are in a relationship with someone that you are no longer romantically interested in. It's time to be honest.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: 60 minutes
Here's How:
1. Get alone with him/her. Don't do this on the phone!
2. Relax. You are doing the right thing...s/he needs to know the truth.
3. Tell him/her that you feel this relationship on its current level needs to end.
4. Give him/her some time to let it sink in.
5. If s/he tries to convince you to give him/her another chance, listen to him/her.
6. Tell him/her that you've made up your mind.
7. Tell him/her at what level you would like to keep your relationship (acquaintences, never-seens, friends, etc).
8. Listen to his/her response. Respect his/her feelings about this new level
9. Let him/her go when s/he feels s/he needs to end the conversation.
Tips:
1. Be honest. Although breakups can be really hard on relationships, honesty will salvage any possible future friendship.
2. When you've realized that you are no longer interested in this person, let him/her know. Don't drag out a pointless relationship.
3. Look at this like taking off a band-aid. Would you rather do it fast or slow? Which one hurts more?
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)
You are in a relationship with someone that you are no longer romantically interested in. It's time to be honest.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: 60 minutes
Here's How:
1. Get alone with him/her. Don't do this on the phone!
2. Relax. You are doing the right thing...s/he needs to know the truth.
3. Tell him/her that you feel this relationship on its current level needs to end.
4. Give him/her some time to let it sink in.
5. If s/he tries to convince you to give him/her another chance, listen to him/her.
6. Tell him/her that you've made up your mind.
7. Tell him/her at what level you would like to keep your relationship (acquaintences, never-seens, friends, etc).
8. Listen to his/her response. Respect his/her feelings about this new level
9. Let him/her go when s/he feels s/he needs to end the conversation.
Tips:
1. Be honest. Although breakups can be really hard on relationships, honesty will salvage any possible future friendship.
2. When you've realized that you are no longer interested in this person, let him/her know. Don't drag out a pointless relationship.
3. Look at this like taking off a band-aid. Would you rather do it fast or slow? Which one hurts more?
7 Steps for Getting Over a Breakup
7 Langkah Mengobati Sakit Akibat Putus
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)
Whether you just got dumped or you did the dumping, breaking up always hurts a whole lot. There's no quick fix to make the pain go away, but if you follow some key rules for getting over a breakup, things won't hurt so bad.
1. Realize That It's Over
The biggest breakup mistake you can make? Pretending that it didn't happen. You broke up for a good reason, and getting back together isn't an option. (Maybe it will be in a couple of years, when things have changed, but not now.) Until you accept this, you can't start healing.
2. Get Sad
You're allowed to give yourself a couple of days to mope around and cry. Tear up some love notes, sob to your friends, and write some poems (just don't publish anything online - you'll regret it later). Letting yourself be sad will do you better than bottling it all up. After the second day of moping, though, it's time to start snapping out of it.
3. Leave Your Ex Alone
You might want to call or text your ex, but resist the urge. You both need a little time apart from each other, or else you'll never stop hurting. In a couple of months, you might be ready to try out a friendship, but for now, try to avoid all contact.
4. Keep Yourself Busy
The worst way to get over an ex is to sit in your room all alone. Hang out with your friends and family, play some sports, hit the gym or dig into your favorite hobbies. It'll make you feel good and get your mind off of the breakup.
5. Force Yourself to Snap Out of It
After the initial loss, you won't be thinking about your ex nonstop like you used to, but you might find your thoughts trailing back to your breakup. Push those sad thoughts of your head and replace them with happy ones. There's no use dwelling on all the sad stuff forever.
6. Make a Change
Breakups can be good excuses for fresh starts. Make a fun change: give yourself a makeover, get into a new hobby, join a new after-school activity or redecorate your room. It'll make you feel happy and give you a big burst of confidence.
7. Let Time Go By
Time really does heal all wounds. The pain you're feeling now won't last forever, even if it feels like it will. So hang in there - it'll get easier. I promise.
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)
Whether you just got dumped or you did the dumping, breaking up always hurts a whole lot. There's no quick fix to make the pain go away, but if you follow some key rules for getting over a breakup, things won't hurt so bad.
1. Realize That It's Over
The biggest breakup mistake you can make? Pretending that it didn't happen. You broke up for a good reason, and getting back together isn't an option. (Maybe it will be in a couple of years, when things have changed, but not now.) Until you accept this, you can't start healing.
2. Get Sad
You're allowed to give yourself a couple of days to mope around and cry. Tear up some love notes, sob to your friends, and write some poems (just don't publish anything online - you'll regret it later). Letting yourself be sad will do you better than bottling it all up. After the second day of moping, though, it's time to start snapping out of it.
3. Leave Your Ex Alone
You might want to call or text your ex, but resist the urge. You both need a little time apart from each other, or else you'll never stop hurting. In a couple of months, you might be ready to try out a friendship, but for now, try to avoid all contact.
4. Keep Yourself Busy
The worst way to get over an ex is to sit in your room all alone. Hang out with your friends and family, play some sports, hit the gym or dig into your favorite hobbies. It'll make you feel good and get your mind off of the breakup.
5. Force Yourself to Snap Out of It
After the initial loss, you won't be thinking about your ex nonstop like you used to, but you might find your thoughts trailing back to your breakup. Push those sad thoughts of your head and replace them with happy ones. There's no use dwelling on all the sad stuff forever.
6. Make a Change
Breakups can be good excuses for fresh starts. Make a fun change: give yourself a makeover, get into a new hobby, join a new after-school activity or redecorate your room. It'll make you feel happy and give you a big burst of confidence.
7. Let Time Go By
Time really does heal all wounds. The pain you're feeling now won't last forever, even if it feels like it will. So hang in there - it'll get easier. I promise.
How To Be Friends with an Ex
Tips Berteman Dengan Mantan Pacar
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)
Things weren't right with your girlfriend or boyfriend, so you broke up. But you still care about them and want to be friends. Sometimes this is possible. Here are some tips on how to be friends with your ex.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: A lot of time and patience
Here's How:
1. Make sure you're over them. Even if you're going to be the best of friends, you both still need some time to collect yourself after breaking up.
2. Make sure your intentions are good. Being "friends" with an ex just to torment them or to prevent them from dating other people doesn't help anyone in the long run. In fact, it makes you look really bad.
3. Check in on them. Send a friendly text message or call them on their birthday. Ask them how things are going. Find out what's new in their life and how they've changed since you dated. Be supportive of their individuality.
4. Let them know that you feel positive about them as a person and that you'd like to be friends with them -- real friends. If you were there for them as a girlfriend or boyfriend, you can be there for them as a friend, too.
5. Tell them that you think they're great and that, for the most part, you wouldn't change a thing about them. (Well, unless they're doing something really mean or stupid.) An ego boost can help mend some of the leftover wounds from the breakup.
6. Avoid sexual and romantic topics -- and the temptation to flirt -- especially when you're starting the friendship. This can be tricky if you have been involved with someone romantically, but you can do it if you stay focused. You don't want to lead the other person on, and you certainly don't want them to lead you on either.
7. At first, keep your conversations and meetings short and, if possible, fun. Remind them just how great you are to hang out with. However, set limits for how often you'll talk to them and hang out with them.
8. Keep working toward your own goals. Don't fall back into negative old patterns from the relationship. Develop your own interests and encourage your ex to do the same.
9. If your ex doesn't seem interested in a friendship, you need to respect their wishes. It may be a possibility in the future, but for now, focus on your other friends.
10. Also, if your ex is not treating you with the same respect you expect of any other friend, it's not a good time to pursue a friendship with them.
Tips:
1. Tell a good friend about your efforts to be friends with your ex and ask them to look out for you. (Hopefully you won't need to ask!)
2. Be friendly, kind and consistent with your ex. Remind them often that you're glad they're a part of your life.
3. Don't blow them off to hang out with your new crush. In general, be aware that they might still be feeling a bit sensitive about some aspect of the breakup and feel weird about you seeing other people.
4. It's quite possible that your ex may not be up for a friendship. Be forgiving and move on if this is the ca
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)
Things weren't right with your girlfriend or boyfriend, so you broke up. But you still care about them and want to be friends. Sometimes this is possible. Here are some tips on how to be friends with your ex.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: A lot of time and patience
Here's How:
1. Make sure you're over them. Even if you're going to be the best of friends, you both still need some time to collect yourself after breaking up.
2. Make sure your intentions are good. Being "friends" with an ex just to torment them or to prevent them from dating other people doesn't help anyone in the long run. In fact, it makes you look really bad.
3. Check in on them. Send a friendly text message or call them on their birthday. Ask them how things are going. Find out what's new in their life and how they've changed since you dated. Be supportive of their individuality.
4. Let them know that you feel positive about them as a person and that you'd like to be friends with them -- real friends. If you were there for them as a girlfriend or boyfriend, you can be there for them as a friend, too.
5. Tell them that you think they're great and that, for the most part, you wouldn't change a thing about them. (Well, unless they're doing something really mean or stupid.) An ego boost can help mend some of the leftover wounds from the breakup.
6. Avoid sexual and romantic topics -- and the temptation to flirt -- especially when you're starting the friendship. This can be tricky if you have been involved with someone romantically, but you can do it if you stay focused. You don't want to lead the other person on, and you certainly don't want them to lead you on either.
7. At first, keep your conversations and meetings short and, if possible, fun. Remind them just how great you are to hang out with. However, set limits for how often you'll talk to them and hang out with them.
8. Keep working toward your own goals. Don't fall back into negative old patterns from the relationship. Develop your own interests and encourage your ex to do the same.
9. If your ex doesn't seem interested in a friendship, you need to respect their wishes. It may be a possibility in the future, but for now, focus on your other friends.
10. Also, if your ex is not treating you with the same respect you expect of any other friend, it's not a good time to pursue a friendship with them.
Tips:
1. Tell a good friend about your efforts to be friends with your ex and ask them to look out for you. (Hopefully you won't need to ask!)
2. Be friendly, kind and consistent with your ex. Remind them often that you're glad they're a part of your life.
3. Don't blow them off to hang out with your new crush. In general, be aware that they might still be feeling a bit sensitive about some aspect of the breakup and feel weird about you seeing other people.
4. It's quite possible that your ex may not be up for a friendship. Be forgiving and move on if this is the ca
10 Easy Flirt Tips
10 Cara Mudah PDKT
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)
Flirting's a language - and just like with any other language, no one's born a fluent flirt. If you want to know how to flirt like a pro, you've got to learn the signs. Follow these flirt tips and practice till you're an expert flirt.
1. Choose Your Targets
You don't have to have a crush on someone in order to flirt. Practice flirting with random people you see every day - people who might not even be on your dating radar - on order to hone your skills. That way, you'll have some flirting experience under your belt when you approach the people who really matter.
2. Have an Opening Line
Find a reason to talk to the person. If you're in a class with them, come up with a question about an assignment. If they're standing in line behind you at a concert, ask about the band. Get creative, and be ready to respond to whatever they say.
3. Make Eye Contact
If you don't make eye contact, you'll look bored or uninterested, and that's not an impression you want to give. Too shy to look them right in the eyes? Here's a trick: look at the spot right between their eyes. It'll look like eye contact to them.
4. Come Up With a Compliment
Pick one thing you like about the way they look - like their hair, their smile or an article of clothing. Let them know in a friendly way how much you like it. It'll make them feel good and will open them up to you. (If you can't think of an opening line for tip #2, a compliment will do.)
5. Smile
You don't have to go all Bozo the Clown, but the idea is to look like you enjoy talking to them. So be sure to throw them a smile whenever it makes sense. If they shoot one back, you'll know that they like talking to you, too.
6. Flirt With Your Body
The body language you use when you flirt is just as important as what you say. Use good posture, point your body towards the person and try to find excuses to touch them. For more on how to do that, check these body language flirting tips.
7. Keep It Light
You'll get a way better response if you chat about fun, happy stuff (like your new puppy) than serious or sad stuff (like when your puppy got hit by a train). The point of flirting isn't to bare your soul or share your honest opinions about everything. It's to open the door to lots more conversations down the road.
8. Beware of Awkward Silences
Once the convo drags, it's probably gone for good. Fill an awkward silence by asking the other person a question. Can't think of one? Ask them about something they're wearing or something in your environment (like a painting on the wall, or the music that's playing).
9. Wrap It Up
If you're not interested in talking anymore, politely find an excuse to head off into the sunset. If you are interested, give them a way to get in touch with you - like your phone number or Facebook name. This is (hopefully) just your first convo of many, so save some of that charm for the next time.
10. Practice, Practice, Practice
No one's perfect at flirting the first time around. If the idea of flirting still gives you butterflies, don't worry - it just means that you need more practice. The more you flirt, the easier it'll get.
Terjemahan Bebas
(Terjemahan Indonesia Di Bagian Bawah)
Flirting's a language - and just like with any other language, no one's born a fluent flirt. If you want to know how to flirt like a pro, you've got to learn the signs. Follow these flirt tips and practice till you're an expert flirt.
1. Choose Your Targets
You don't have to have a crush on someone in order to flirt. Practice flirting with random people you see every day - people who might not even be on your dating radar - on order to hone your skills. That way, you'll have some flirting experience under your belt when you approach the people who really matter.
2. Have an Opening Line
Find a reason to talk to the person. If you're in a class with them, come up with a question about an assignment. If they're standing in line behind you at a concert, ask about the band. Get creative, and be ready to respond to whatever they say.
3. Make Eye Contact
If you don't make eye contact, you'll look bored or uninterested, and that's not an impression you want to give. Too shy to look them right in the eyes? Here's a trick: look at the spot right between their eyes. It'll look like eye contact to them.
4. Come Up With a Compliment
Pick one thing you like about the way they look - like their hair, their smile or an article of clothing. Let them know in a friendly way how much you like it. It'll make them feel good and will open them up to you. (If you can't think of an opening line for tip #2, a compliment will do.)
5. Smile
You don't have to go all Bozo the Clown, but the idea is to look like you enjoy talking to them. So be sure to throw them a smile whenever it makes sense. If they shoot one back, you'll know that they like talking to you, too.
6. Flirt With Your Body
The body language you use when you flirt is just as important as what you say. Use good posture, point your body towards the person and try to find excuses to touch them. For more on how to do that, check these body language flirting tips.
7. Keep It Light
You'll get a way better response if you chat about fun, happy stuff (like your new puppy) than serious or sad stuff (like when your puppy got hit by a train). The point of flirting isn't to bare your soul or share your honest opinions about everything. It's to open the door to lots more conversations down the road.
8. Beware of Awkward Silences
Once the convo drags, it's probably gone for good. Fill an awkward silence by asking the other person a question. Can't think of one? Ask them about something they're wearing or something in your environment (like a painting on the wall, or the music that's playing).
9. Wrap It Up
If you're not interested in talking anymore, politely find an excuse to head off into the sunset. If you are interested, give them a way to get in touch with you - like your phone number or Facebook name. This is (hopefully) just your first convo of many, so save some of that charm for the next time.
10. Practice, Practice, Practice
No one's perfect at flirting the first time around. If the idea of flirting still gives you butterflies, don't worry - it just means that you need more practice. The more you flirt, the easier it'll get.
Terjemahan Bebas
Monday, November 30, 2009
Know if You are Having an Online Affair
Did you know that there is an alternative to a physical, extramarital affair? An online affair involves the same kinds of emotions that other affairs do. There is secrecy, fantasy and excitement also, rationalization of what you doing and denial of the effects. Don’t be fooled though, an online affair is as potentially devastating as a physical affair. Are you having an online affair? If you answer yes to five of the following questions you may be involved in more than just chatting online.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: It is according to how deep your denial is.
Here's How:
1.How much time do you spend online?
If you spend more than three hours a week chatting with and exchanging personal information with a member of the opposite sex you are having an online affair.
2.Do you look forward to spending time with your online “friend?”
When you are not online are you preoccupied with thoughts of your online friend? Do you think about them often and look forward to the next time you will be able to chat with them?
3.Is your online friend a secret?
Have you shared the fact that you have an online friend with your spouse? Do you keep it to yourself because you know your spouse would react negatively? Maybe you don’t tell because the idea of having a friend your spouse doesn’t know about is exciting to you.
4.Do you share relationship issues with your online friend?
Is he/she someone you feel comfortable sharing marital problems? You tell him/her more about what you want out of life, what your disappointments are and feel they are more understanding than your spouse.
5.Is your online friend a better listener than your spouse?
When you share person details and problems, does your online friend always respond in the way you need? Do you find yourself wishing your spouse cared as much as your online friend seems to?
6.Are you beginning to recent your spouse?
Are you making comparisons between your online friend and your spouse? Are you finding that you feel more anger than usual toward your spouse? Becoming less tolerant of a spouse, feeling anger and resentment and withdrawing emotionally is one of the most harmful aspects of any type of affair.
7.Do you have less interest in sex with your spouse?
To begin with, you may fantasize about your online friend during sex with your spouse. Then you may lose all sexual interest in your spouse and replace it with sexual fantasies and longings for your online friend. Before you know it you are thinking of ways to meet your online friend in person.
8.Do you exchange photos with your online friend?
Have you sent your online friend a photo of yourself? Have the two of you sent each other erotic and sexually suggestive photos of yourself? If not, has the thought crossed your mind?
9.Have you suggested a “real life” meeting with your online friend?
Meeting for lunch or coffee will soon become a topic of discussion. Online affairs almost always lead to a desire to meet each other in real life. That is when something you think is harmless becomes destructive.
Don’t be fooled by the denial and rationalizations you have made about your online friend. Keeping it online may be something you can live with. It may, in your mind be OK since the two of you are not having sex. Whatever you are telling yourself about it, it will eventually turn into more than you went looking for in the first place.
Tips:
1.Get rid of your denial. Be honest with yourself and what you are doing. Being honest about your behavior is the only way to determine if what you are doing is worth the pain it will cause your spouse and family.
2.If you decide to end the online affair expect to be emotionally uncomfortable. You've formed a bond with another human being. Breaking that bond is going to take will-power.
3.Spend less time online and more time doing things that will impact your life positively. Exchange your negative behavior for one that will enrich your marriage and family.
4.If you find it impossible to break off the affair get help. You don't have to do it alone. See a therapist or talk to trusted friend. Share what you are going through with someone willing to help you handle the negative emotions you are feeling.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: It is according to how deep your denial is.
Here's How:
1.How much time do you spend online?
If you spend more than three hours a week chatting with and exchanging personal information with a member of the opposite sex you are having an online affair.
2.Do you look forward to spending time with your online “friend?”
When you are not online are you preoccupied with thoughts of your online friend? Do you think about them often and look forward to the next time you will be able to chat with them?
3.Is your online friend a secret?
Have you shared the fact that you have an online friend with your spouse? Do you keep it to yourself because you know your spouse would react negatively? Maybe you don’t tell because the idea of having a friend your spouse doesn’t know about is exciting to you.
4.Do you share relationship issues with your online friend?
Is he/she someone you feel comfortable sharing marital problems? You tell him/her more about what you want out of life, what your disappointments are and feel they are more understanding than your spouse.
5.Is your online friend a better listener than your spouse?
When you share person details and problems, does your online friend always respond in the way you need? Do you find yourself wishing your spouse cared as much as your online friend seems to?
6.Are you beginning to recent your spouse?
Are you making comparisons between your online friend and your spouse? Are you finding that you feel more anger than usual toward your spouse? Becoming less tolerant of a spouse, feeling anger and resentment and withdrawing emotionally is one of the most harmful aspects of any type of affair.
7.Do you have less interest in sex with your spouse?
To begin with, you may fantasize about your online friend during sex with your spouse. Then you may lose all sexual interest in your spouse and replace it with sexual fantasies and longings for your online friend. Before you know it you are thinking of ways to meet your online friend in person.
8.Do you exchange photos with your online friend?
Have you sent your online friend a photo of yourself? Have the two of you sent each other erotic and sexually suggestive photos of yourself? If not, has the thought crossed your mind?
9.Have you suggested a “real life” meeting with your online friend?
Meeting for lunch or coffee will soon become a topic of discussion. Online affairs almost always lead to a desire to meet each other in real life. That is when something you think is harmless becomes destructive.
Don’t be fooled by the denial and rationalizations you have made about your online friend. Keeping it online may be something you can live with. It may, in your mind be OK since the two of you are not having sex. Whatever you are telling yourself about it, it will eventually turn into more than you went looking for in the first place.
Tips:
1.Get rid of your denial. Be honest with yourself and what you are doing. Being honest about your behavior is the only way to determine if what you are doing is worth the pain it will cause your spouse and family.
2.If you decide to end the online affair expect to be emotionally uncomfortable. You've formed a bond with another human being. Breaking that bond is going to take will-power.
3.Spend less time online and more time doing things that will impact your life positively. Exchange your negative behavior for one that will enrich your marriage and family.
4.If you find it impossible to break off the affair get help. You don't have to do it alone. See a therapist or talk to trusted friend. Share what you are going through with someone willing to help you handle the negative emotions you are feeling.
How To French Kiss
An introduction to the seductive art of French Kissing.
Difficulty: Easy
Time Required: N/A
Here's How:
1. Set the scene. Make sure that the mood and time are right.
2. Relax! Take a deep breath and let go of any tension in your neck and shoulders.
3. Put your arms around the person you want to kiss.
4. Start off with a normal kiss, not too firm, not too aggressive. Closing your eyes is optional.
5. In mid kiss, gently open your mouth and softly nudge the other persons mouth open using your tongue.
6. Again, not too aggressively, move your tongue inside the other persons mouth and playfully touch their tounge.
7. Read the other persons body language, if they seem tense or start to pull away, stop what you are doing.
8. If they open their mouth more or otherwise indicate they like the kiss, keep on doing what you have been only with a little more passion.
9. As the kissing gets going saliva build up can be a problem, don't forget to swallow.
10. Make sure you keep your tongues relaxed but your lips tight (saliva again), you don't want the kiss to turn messy.
Tips:
1. Don't forget to breathe.
2. Since French Kissing is "wetter" than other kinds of kissing it is a good idea to start with dry lips, don't lick them first.
3. If one of you have braces you can still French Kiss, you just have to be more careful and not as forceful when things get passionate.
4. If both of you wear braces you can still French Kiss, you just have to be very gentle and avoid touching teeth.
5. French Kissing takes practice, but at least it is fun to practice this one!
Difficulty: Easy
Time Required: N/A
Here's How:
1. Set the scene. Make sure that the mood and time are right.
2. Relax! Take a deep breath and let go of any tension in your neck and shoulders.
3. Put your arms around the person you want to kiss.
4. Start off with a normal kiss, not too firm, not too aggressive. Closing your eyes is optional.
5. In mid kiss, gently open your mouth and softly nudge the other persons mouth open using your tongue.
6. Again, not too aggressively, move your tongue inside the other persons mouth and playfully touch their tounge.
7. Read the other persons body language, if they seem tense or start to pull away, stop what you are doing.
8. If they open their mouth more or otherwise indicate they like the kiss, keep on doing what you have been only with a little more passion.
9. As the kissing gets going saliva build up can be a problem, don't forget to swallow.
10. Make sure you keep your tongues relaxed but your lips tight (saliva again), you don't want the kiss to turn messy.
Tips:
1. Don't forget to breathe.
2. Since French Kissing is "wetter" than other kinds of kissing it is a good idea to start with dry lips, don't lick them first.
3. If one of you have braces you can still French Kiss, you just have to be more careful and not as forceful when things get passionate.
4. If both of you wear braces you can still French Kiss, you just have to be very gentle and avoid touching teeth.
5. French Kissing takes practice, but at least it is fun to practice this one!
10 Tips on How to Kiss
Wanna perfect your French kissing technique, or just want the basics on how to kiss for the first time? Follow these kissing tips the next time you're ready to smooch.
1. Find the Right Time to Kiss
The best time for a first kiss is when you're alone, there's a pause in the conversation and you're both looking into each other's eyes. Help make this moment happen by finding a way to get away from the crowd, standing or sitting close to your partner, making eye contact and letting the convo come to a natural breaking point. You'll both know when the moment is right.
2. Don't Obsess About Your Breath
Your breath doesn't need to be any more minty fresh than your kissing partner's. (For instance, if you both just had dinner together and ate equally garlicky meals, you'll be fine.) Bring some mints with you, but don't pop them obsessively. It's not necessary and it'll make you look over-eager.
3. Start With Your Lips
The first thing that comes to mind when you think about french kissing is tongue, but that shouldn't come right away - you'll have to ease into it. Start just by lightly kissing their lips (either their top lip, their bottom lip or both) with yours.
4. Don't Make Your Tongue the Star of the Show
A kiss without any tongue at all is perfectly fine. But if you want to take it to the next level, open your mouth a little wider, gently touch your tongue against theirs, and let the tips of your tongues "play around" together. Don't do much more than that, though. When it comes to tongue, a little goes a long way.
5. Use Your Hands Wisely
The best spots to place your hands are around your partner's neck or waist, on the back of your partner's head, or if you want to be extra-romantic, against your partner's cheeks. Never just leave them by your side! That would be a total waste.
6. Don't Forget to Breathe
Take regular breaks to pull away and look into your partner's eyes. It'll give you a chance to catch your breath and share a smile.
7. Mix It Up
Don't leave your lips or your tongue in the same spot for more than a couple of seconds. The initial excitement of a first kiss is thrilling, but things can get boring awfully quickly if you don't vary your style a little.
8. When In Doubt, Follow Their Lead
You don't need to be an expert on kissing to share a great kiss. If you're not sure what to do, just let your partner take over and go with the flow. As long as the two of you like each other and are concentrating on the magic of the moment, it'll go great.
9. It's Okay to Laugh
You might be tempted to laugh or make a little joke to ease the tension or hide some your nervousness. Go for it. Your partner's probably just as nervous as you are, and it'll ease the tension for them, too.
10. Know When to End It
If this is your first time kissing this person, keep things brief. There'll be plenty more chances to kiss, and you want to leave them dying to lock lips with you the next time.
1. Find the Right Time to Kiss
The best time for a first kiss is when you're alone, there's a pause in the conversation and you're both looking into each other's eyes. Help make this moment happen by finding a way to get away from the crowd, standing or sitting close to your partner, making eye contact and letting the convo come to a natural breaking point. You'll both know when the moment is right.
2. Don't Obsess About Your Breath
Your breath doesn't need to be any more minty fresh than your kissing partner's. (For instance, if you both just had dinner together and ate equally garlicky meals, you'll be fine.) Bring some mints with you, but don't pop them obsessively. It's not necessary and it'll make you look over-eager.
3. Start With Your Lips
The first thing that comes to mind when you think about french kissing is tongue, but that shouldn't come right away - you'll have to ease into it. Start just by lightly kissing their lips (either their top lip, their bottom lip or both) with yours.
4. Don't Make Your Tongue the Star of the Show
A kiss without any tongue at all is perfectly fine. But if you want to take it to the next level, open your mouth a little wider, gently touch your tongue against theirs, and let the tips of your tongues "play around" together. Don't do much more than that, though. When it comes to tongue, a little goes a long way.
5. Use Your Hands Wisely
The best spots to place your hands are around your partner's neck or waist, on the back of your partner's head, or if you want to be extra-romantic, against your partner's cheeks. Never just leave them by your side! That would be a total waste.
6. Don't Forget to Breathe
Take regular breaks to pull away and look into your partner's eyes. It'll give you a chance to catch your breath and share a smile.
7. Mix It Up
Don't leave your lips or your tongue in the same spot for more than a couple of seconds. The initial excitement of a first kiss is thrilling, but things can get boring awfully quickly if you don't vary your style a little.
8. When In Doubt, Follow Their Lead
You don't need to be an expert on kissing to share a great kiss. If you're not sure what to do, just let your partner take over and go with the flow. As long as the two of you like each other and are concentrating on the magic of the moment, it'll go great.
9. It's Okay to Laugh
You might be tempted to laugh or make a little joke to ease the tension or hide some your nervousness. Go for it. Your partner's probably just as nervous as you are, and it'll ease the tension for them, too.
10. Know When to End It
If this is your first time kissing this person, keep things brief. There'll be plenty more chances to kiss, and you want to leave them dying to lock lips with you the next time.
How to find your Bra size
Sizes mean nothing!! One manufacturer's size 8 is another one's 12. UK sizes look the same as US, but they're not. Because US sizing has changed over the years, finding your size in vintage clothing can be a challenge. But armed with your accurate measurements, you can decipher any sizing system.
What you'll need - A cloth tape measure and a full length mirror. Take measurements undressed or in lightweight clothes. Pull the tape measure snug, but not too tight. Keep your arms at your side and have a friend take the measurements, for the best results. And don't slouch! Stand up nice and tall.mannequin.gif
Bust
Measure around the shoulder blades, under the armpits and over the fullest part of the bust.
Waist
Find your natural waistline and measure.
Hip
Measure the fullest part of the hip (usually about 7-9 inches below the waist)
Bra Size
1. Wear a comfortable bra and measure the rib cage just below the breast. If the number is 33 or less, add 5 inches to that number and that is your bra size. Over 33 inches add 3 inches to get you bra size. Both ways, rounding odd numbers up to even.
2. Then take measure the bust around the fullest part. When you subtract the last number (fullest part) by the among of your bra size, you'll come up with a number used to determine cup size by using the chart below (the A,B,C, etc. cup chart) For example if your bra size was 36 and your cup measurement was 38, the difference is 2" so you would wear a 36B.
Use this chart:
AA = 1/2"
A = 1"
B = 2"
C = 3"
D = 4"
DD or E = 5"
F = 6"
G = 7"
What you'll need - A cloth tape measure and a full length mirror. Take measurements undressed or in lightweight clothes. Pull the tape measure snug, but not too tight. Keep your arms at your side and have a friend take the measurements, for the best results. And don't slouch! Stand up nice and tall.mannequin.gif
Bust
Measure around the shoulder blades, under the armpits and over the fullest part of the bust.
Waist
Find your natural waistline and measure.
Hip
Measure the fullest part of the hip (usually about 7-9 inches below the waist)
Bra Size
1. Wear a comfortable bra and measure the rib cage just below the breast. If the number is 33 or less, add 5 inches to that number and that is your bra size. Over 33 inches add 3 inches to get you bra size. Both ways, rounding odd numbers up to even.
2. Then take measure the bust around the fullest part. When you subtract the last number (fullest part) by the among of your bra size, you'll come up with a number used to determine cup size by using the chart below (the A,B,C, etc. cup chart) For example if your bra size was 36 and your cup measurement was 38, the difference is 2" so you would wear a 36B.
Use this chart:
AA = 1/2"
A = 1"
B = 2"
C = 3"
D = 4"
DD or E = 5"
F = 6"
G = 7"
How to Find the Right Bra
Buying a bra may seem simple but it is actually quite complex. First and foremost it is essential that you know your correct size (click here for further information). A properly fitted bra is essential for both comfort and posture and is especially important during the teen years when your body is growing.
The Importance of Knowing Your Bra Size
A poorly fitting bra can cause back problems, muscle tension, and even headaches. Since teens are still growing the strains caused by an improperly fit bra can lead to life long problems with posture and back pain. To ensure that you are wearing the right size bra you should be fit by a lingerie consultant once a year or after every noticeable growth spurt.
Different Bras for Different Reasons
After you have the right size the next thing to think about is why the bra is needed. Is it for support, coverage, comfort or athletics? Bras come in a variety of fits and fabrics. There are different styles of bras designed for specific body types, fashions and activities. No one bra can do it all!
First/Training Bras
Training bras are for young girls who have started to develop breasts but do not yet fit the standard bra sizes. A young girl who has started to develop breasts should wear a training bra but there is no harm in letting a girl get one before there is a real need. Remember, training bras are intended for girls of any age who have started to get breasts and who are not yet able to be fitted with a regular bra. If your breast size warrants a full fitting bra you should wear one, even if you are very young.
Light Support Bras
Light support bras usually have no under wire and are good for girls with smaller breasts. They are less constricting than full support bras and many girls feel that they are more comfortable. Because they are wireless they offer less shaping than other bras and are most flattering on trimmer figures. These bras come in padded and unpadded versions, which you choose is really a matter of personal preference.
Full Support Bras
Full support bras usually have an under wire or plastic boning holding them up. They can be worn by girls of any breast size and are a must for those with larger cup sizes. These bras offer a shapely cut and have a structured build. These also come in padded or unpadded version and are flattering on any figure type.
Push Up Bras
Once called padded bras, push up bras are designed to show off cleavage. These bras lift the breasts and add shape to them with extra padding. Some more innovative push up bras use silicone inserts or water sacks to imitate the fullness of a natural breasts. They are said to lift and separate creating a full cleavage look on breasts of all sizes. These bras always offer lots of support.
Sports Bras
Of all the bras the sports bra is probably the most important one for growing teens to have. Sports bras stop the breasts from moving during athletic activity. Breast tissue is very delicate and growing breast tissue needs to be protected during high impact exercise. Even girls with smaller breasts should invest in a good sports bra if they take physical education or participate in sports.
The Importance of Knowing Your Bra Size
A poorly fitting bra can cause back problems, muscle tension, and even headaches. Since teens are still growing the strains caused by an improperly fit bra can lead to life long problems with posture and back pain. To ensure that you are wearing the right size bra you should be fit by a lingerie consultant once a year or after every noticeable growth spurt.
Different Bras for Different Reasons
After you have the right size the next thing to think about is why the bra is needed. Is it for support, coverage, comfort or athletics? Bras come in a variety of fits and fabrics. There are different styles of bras designed for specific body types, fashions and activities. No one bra can do it all!
First/Training Bras
Training bras are for young girls who have started to develop breasts but do not yet fit the standard bra sizes. A young girl who has started to develop breasts should wear a training bra but there is no harm in letting a girl get one before there is a real need. Remember, training bras are intended for girls of any age who have started to get breasts and who are not yet able to be fitted with a regular bra. If your breast size warrants a full fitting bra you should wear one, even if you are very young.
Light Support Bras
Light support bras usually have no under wire and are good for girls with smaller breasts. They are less constricting than full support bras and many girls feel that they are more comfortable. Because they are wireless they offer less shaping than other bras and are most flattering on trimmer figures. These bras come in padded and unpadded versions, which you choose is really a matter of personal preference.
Full Support Bras
Full support bras usually have an under wire or plastic boning holding them up. They can be worn by girls of any breast size and are a must for those with larger cup sizes. These bras offer a shapely cut and have a structured build. These also come in padded or unpadded version and are flattering on any figure type.
Push Up Bras
Once called padded bras, push up bras are designed to show off cleavage. These bras lift the breasts and add shape to them with extra padding. Some more innovative push up bras use silicone inserts or water sacks to imitate the fullness of a natural breasts. They are said to lift and separate creating a full cleavage look on breasts of all sizes. These bras always offer lots of support.
Sports Bras
Of all the bras the sports bra is probably the most important one for growing teens to have. Sports bras stop the breasts from moving during athletic activity. Breast tissue is very delicate and growing breast tissue needs to be protected during high impact exercise. Even girls with smaller breasts should invest in a good sports bra if they take physical education or participate in sports.
Do you have what it takes to be a model?
So you want to be a model? Do you have what it takes? Many pretty-in-person girls make terrible models and sometimes the plain Janes just take your breath away on film. It takes much more than just a pretty face and a slim figure to make it as a mainstream model. You need to have the total package, a mix of genetics and personality, in order to thrive in the modeling industry. So what traits does a successful model need to have? Some of the qualities of a mainstream model are obvious but the others may surprise you.
What is a mainstream model?
When we talk about making it as a mainstream model we are talking about the models you see in magazines and advertisements. There are specialty models, models with a specific look or talent, but that is not the type of model we are talking about here. Plus sized models, niche models, body part models and models with unique skills are some examples of specialty models but we want to tell you what agents look for in the average model. The base line parameters are very small, models need to have a specific body type, be within a certain height range and have good bone structure. Have these core ingredients and you have a good shot at making it as a model. Have the right skills and personality and you just may be the next supermodel.
What do modeling agents look for when signing a new model?
When agents look for new models to sign they look for a very specific set of physical criteria. How you look is definitely the first thing agents see. First and foremost models need to be tall and slim; for the most part they need to be slimmer than the average girl. This is the reason that the modeling industry gets such a bad rap, because the call for slim models could be seen as promoting an unrealistic body image. While this is a valid criticism there are some equally valid reasons that models need to be slender. Clothes hang better on a smaller body and the fashion industry is essentially about selling clothes and other trappings of style like cosmetics, skin care, accessories, and perfumes.
The fashion industry’s love-affair with skinny girls is not part of a conspiracy against average sized bodies. Slimmer figures are important on the runway but they also photograph better. Why? Pictures are two dimensional and for this reason the body loses some of its angles in photographs. Without the proper angles even slender girls can appear heavy in pictures. Lighting plays an important role in counteracting the flattening effects of photography but it can’t correct for all the effects of transferring a three dimensional object on to a two dimensional piece of paper. Using a slim model also helps eliminate the problems associated with losing the all important angles.
What is meant by “having good angles” or “knowing your angles?”
Often you’ll hear agents and photographers talking about “knowing your angles” and this is something that contributes to the next important trait that models must have; models must be photogenic. They must take a good picture. Even the prettiest girls can take terrible pictures and the reasons are simple. Some elements of being photogenic can be learned but many of them are at the mercy of genetics.
Knowing your angles, knowing how to pose and knowing how to hold a pose convincingly without looking strained are important and can all be learned. What can’t be learned is bone structure. Models almost always have very angular faces with strong yet balanced features. Symmetry is also important; most models have very symmetrical faces meaning one eye is not bigger or lower on the face than the other, the nose is centered on the face, the cheekbones are high and level and the jaw line is even. Ironically, angular faces are often considered odd looking in real life. In a three dimensional world angles create shadowing which can look strange at times.
Other than the physical attributes what else makes for a good model?
The final thing agents look for is posture. Good posture is a modeling must as 70% of a models career is runway modeling. Unless you make it as a super-model, or build a less glamorous catalogue career, making it as a model will mean walking a runway. Good posture and a solid walk are essential modeling skills but they can be learned. If a girl fits the mold in every way but lacks good posture an agent may still sign her with the hope that she can learn to stand straight and walk tall. However, if a slouchy model doesn’t ever develop good posture she may find her career is cut short. For this reason having good posture from the get go is a definite bonus.
As with any job personality is important as well. An ideal model will have a strong sense of self with well developed self esteem and a resilient psychological make up. Modeling is stressful work and models are exposed to all sorts of potentially self destructive influences. Modeling is a glamorous life and with the glamour comes an element of risk. Models are at a very great risk for falling prey to the trappings of glamour; alcohol, drugs, late night partying and unhealthy dieting regimes are always around. It takes a girl of strong character to face these things without succumbing to the temptations. Do agents really look for strong and grounded personalities? Yes and no. While they won’t turn down a promising girl because she seems insecure or uncertain of herself they may take a not-quite-as-shining prospect because she does have the right personality.
What are the basic must have traits for any mainstream model?
It all sounds pretty shallow because it is. In the end models are clothes hangers and their role in the fashion industry is to make clothes look good so that they will sell. It is an industry heavily influenced by physical appearances. To recap, making it as a model requires the following traits and skills:
* A slim build
* A height somewhere between 5'8" and 5'11" (there are exceptions)
* Good bone structure with a symmetrical and angular face
* Being naturally photogenic and/or a good knowledge of ones “angles”
* Good posture and a strong runway walk (learned or natural)
Modeling is not without a social conscience. There are people in the industry who are very concerned about the eating disordered, drug and alcohol abusing, party-on image models seem to cultivate. However in the end modeling is a money-making venture and whether or not a girl will be able to sell herself, the clothes she wears and the products she endorses are what is most important to industry leaders. Models have a mold and unless we are talking about specialty modeling to succeed in the industry you must fit the mold. Beauty aside, because as already noted not all models would be called pretty in real life, models must be able to project a desirable image. They must seem ideal so that the average woman will want to spend the money to be like them, wear what they wear, and use the cosmetics that they use. If you have what it takes to sell yourself and you fit the mold you just may make it as a model.
The Model Mold
To recap, here's the basic blueprint for your average model. If you fit this description the next step is looking for an agency that will sign you.
* A slim build
* A height somewhere between 5'8" and 5'11" (there are exceptions)
* Good bone structure with a symmetrical and angular face
* Being naturally photogenic and/or a good knowledge of ones “angles”
* Good posture and a strong runway walk (learned or natural)
What is a mainstream model?
When we talk about making it as a mainstream model we are talking about the models you see in magazines and advertisements. There are specialty models, models with a specific look or talent, but that is not the type of model we are talking about here. Plus sized models, niche models, body part models and models with unique skills are some examples of specialty models but we want to tell you what agents look for in the average model. The base line parameters are very small, models need to have a specific body type, be within a certain height range and have good bone structure. Have these core ingredients and you have a good shot at making it as a model. Have the right skills and personality and you just may be the next supermodel.
What do modeling agents look for when signing a new model?
When agents look for new models to sign they look for a very specific set of physical criteria. How you look is definitely the first thing agents see. First and foremost models need to be tall and slim; for the most part they need to be slimmer than the average girl. This is the reason that the modeling industry gets such a bad rap, because the call for slim models could be seen as promoting an unrealistic body image. While this is a valid criticism there are some equally valid reasons that models need to be slender. Clothes hang better on a smaller body and the fashion industry is essentially about selling clothes and other trappings of style like cosmetics, skin care, accessories, and perfumes.
The fashion industry’s love-affair with skinny girls is not part of a conspiracy against average sized bodies. Slimmer figures are important on the runway but they also photograph better. Why? Pictures are two dimensional and for this reason the body loses some of its angles in photographs. Without the proper angles even slender girls can appear heavy in pictures. Lighting plays an important role in counteracting the flattening effects of photography but it can’t correct for all the effects of transferring a three dimensional object on to a two dimensional piece of paper. Using a slim model also helps eliminate the problems associated with losing the all important angles.
What is meant by “having good angles” or “knowing your angles?”
Often you’ll hear agents and photographers talking about “knowing your angles” and this is something that contributes to the next important trait that models must have; models must be photogenic. They must take a good picture. Even the prettiest girls can take terrible pictures and the reasons are simple. Some elements of being photogenic can be learned but many of them are at the mercy of genetics.
Knowing your angles, knowing how to pose and knowing how to hold a pose convincingly without looking strained are important and can all be learned. What can’t be learned is bone structure. Models almost always have very angular faces with strong yet balanced features. Symmetry is also important; most models have very symmetrical faces meaning one eye is not bigger or lower on the face than the other, the nose is centered on the face, the cheekbones are high and level and the jaw line is even. Ironically, angular faces are often considered odd looking in real life. In a three dimensional world angles create shadowing which can look strange at times.
Other than the physical attributes what else makes for a good model?
The final thing agents look for is posture. Good posture is a modeling must as 70% of a models career is runway modeling. Unless you make it as a super-model, or build a less glamorous catalogue career, making it as a model will mean walking a runway. Good posture and a solid walk are essential modeling skills but they can be learned. If a girl fits the mold in every way but lacks good posture an agent may still sign her with the hope that she can learn to stand straight and walk tall. However, if a slouchy model doesn’t ever develop good posture she may find her career is cut short. For this reason having good posture from the get go is a definite bonus.
As with any job personality is important as well. An ideal model will have a strong sense of self with well developed self esteem and a resilient psychological make up. Modeling is stressful work and models are exposed to all sorts of potentially self destructive influences. Modeling is a glamorous life and with the glamour comes an element of risk. Models are at a very great risk for falling prey to the trappings of glamour; alcohol, drugs, late night partying and unhealthy dieting regimes are always around. It takes a girl of strong character to face these things without succumbing to the temptations. Do agents really look for strong and grounded personalities? Yes and no. While they won’t turn down a promising girl because she seems insecure or uncertain of herself they may take a not-quite-as-shining prospect because she does have the right personality.
What are the basic must have traits for any mainstream model?
It all sounds pretty shallow because it is. In the end models are clothes hangers and their role in the fashion industry is to make clothes look good so that they will sell. It is an industry heavily influenced by physical appearances. To recap, making it as a model requires the following traits and skills:
* A slim build
* A height somewhere between 5'8" and 5'11" (there are exceptions)
* Good bone structure with a symmetrical and angular face
* Being naturally photogenic and/or a good knowledge of ones “angles”
* Good posture and a strong runway walk (learned or natural)
Modeling is not without a social conscience. There are people in the industry who are very concerned about the eating disordered, drug and alcohol abusing, party-on image models seem to cultivate. However in the end modeling is a money-making venture and whether or not a girl will be able to sell herself, the clothes she wears and the products she endorses are what is most important to industry leaders. Models have a mold and unless we are talking about specialty modeling to succeed in the industry you must fit the mold. Beauty aside, because as already noted not all models would be called pretty in real life, models must be able to project a desirable image. They must seem ideal so that the average woman will want to spend the money to be like them, wear what they wear, and use the cosmetics that they use. If you have what it takes to sell yourself and you fit the mold you just may make it as a model.
The Model Mold
To recap, here's the basic blueprint for your average model. If you fit this description the next step is looking for an agency that will sign you.
* A slim build
* A height somewhere between 5'8" and 5'11" (there are exceptions)
* Good bone structure with a symmetrical and angular face
* Being naturally photogenic and/or a good knowledge of ones “angles”
* Good posture and a strong runway walk (learned or natural)
Saturday, November 28, 2009
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Sunday, November 22, 2009
The Double-Daring Book for Girls Summary
The eagerly anticipated follow-up to the bestselling phenomenon The Daring Book for Girls is an even more daring guide to everything from making a raft to learning how to play football to the art of the Japanese Tea ceremony. This second volume, with all new original material, promises to be even more of a daring adventure than the first. Girls will learn how to surf, get horseback riding tips, make a labyrinth, find out about April Fool’s Day history and pranks, how to organize a croquet tournament, find out about cowgirls, the Nobel Prize, being a detective and much more! Just as packed with creative and exciting material as the original, but twice as fun, this book will be beloved by all Daring fans everywhere!
Download: Click Here
Saturday, November 21, 2009
The Definitive Book Of Body Language by Allan & Barbara Pease
Available for the first time in the United States, this international bestseller reveals the secrets of nonverbal communication to give you confidence and control in any face-to-face encounter–from making a great first impression and acing a job interview to finding the right partner.
It is a scientific fact that people’s gestures give away their true intentions. Yet most of us don’t know how to read body language–and don’t realize how our own physical movements speak to others. Now the world’s foremost experts on the subject share their techniques for reading body language signals to achieve success in every area of life.
Drawing upon more than thirty years in the field, as well as cutting-edge research from evolutionary biology, psychology, and medical technologies that demonstrate what happens in the brain, the authors examine each component of body language and give you the basic vocabulary to read attitudes and emotions through behavior.
Discover:
• How palms and handshakes are used to gain control
• The most common gestures of liars
• How the legs reveal what the mind wants to do
• The most common male and female courtship gestures and signals
• The secret signals of cigarettes, glasses, and makeup
• The magic of smiles–including smiling advice for women
• How to use nonverbal cues and signals to communicate more effectively and get the reactions you want
Filled with fascinating insights, humorous observations, and simple strategies that you can apply to any situation, this intriguing book will enrich your communication with and understanding of others–as well as yourself.
Download:
Sound Version
eBook Version
Flirt By Reading Body Language
You see someone from across the room and think: Wow. I want to meet them. But how can you be sure that your body language conveys your true intentions - to flirt?
These body language cues are excellent ways to show the object of your interest that you'd like to get to know them better. And if someone uses these cues on you? Flirt right back -- because flirting is harmless, and practice makes perfect.
Flirt Using Your Eyes
Holding eye contact with someone you find appealing for approximately five seconds is well-used flirt tactic, mostly because it is highly effective, although its ease and simplicity of use doesn't hurt. According to the book, "The Definitive Guide of Body Language," by Alan and Barbara Pease, the person initiating the flirt will - on average - need to lock eyes three times before the flirt recipient catches on.
Preening To Flirt
There are many, many ways one groom themselves in public in a flattering yet flirty way, depending on your gender. Ladies can try some hair stroking, posture enhancing, neck exposing, hip tilting (if standing), clothes straightening or lip licking - all with the intention of calling attention to her attractiveness. Men can also straighten their clothing, lick their lips or fix their hair, but they should also include things like hooking their fingers into their pants (if standing), suck in their stomach, or take deep breaths to increase the size of their chest. For both men and women, try to use preening body language that shows off your best features while enhancing what makes you, you.
Flirt With a Smile
There are few things better than receiving a genuine, radiant smile from a stranger, yet many people don't respond to them as a flirt tactic. Therefore, use your smile in conjunction with the other body language ideas listed in this article to ensure whomever you've got your eye on realizes a flirt is your intention.
Flirt By Pointing
No, not by using your finger silly. Instead, try to 'point' at the person you want to flirt with by moving your body towards them. Take your feet and make sure they are facing your flirt target, and use your shoulders to lean into them - even if you aren't speaking with them. Other ideas include facing your shoulders towards them or 'closing off' a space just for the two of you (such as crossing your legs towards each other).
Using Touch To Flirt
Look for opportunities where you can touch the person you want to flirt with, either 'accidentally' or otherwise. Shaking hands is an excellent flirt tactic, because not only does it place your hands together (which conveys a "higher level of intimacy" according to Alan and Barbara Pease), but it is easy way to combine flirting with an introduction. You could also try carefully and casually placing your hands on the person's arms to very gently 'move' them so you can pass by on your way to the bathroom, or lightly tap their arm while sharing a laugh. And if you aren't quite comfortable touching the person you want to flirt with quite yet, you can try mimicking their movements for a short period of time (i.e. a couple of seconds), instead.
These body language cues are excellent ways to show the object of your interest that you'd like to get to know them better. And if someone uses these cues on you? Flirt right back -- because flirting is harmless, and practice makes perfect.
Flirt Using Your Eyes
Holding eye contact with someone you find appealing for approximately five seconds is well-used flirt tactic, mostly because it is highly effective, although its ease and simplicity of use doesn't hurt. According to the book, "The Definitive Guide of Body Language," by Alan and Barbara Pease, the person initiating the flirt will - on average - need to lock eyes three times before the flirt recipient catches on.
Preening To Flirt
There are many, many ways one groom themselves in public in a flattering yet flirty way, depending on your gender. Ladies can try some hair stroking, posture enhancing, neck exposing, hip tilting (if standing), clothes straightening or lip licking - all with the intention of calling attention to her attractiveness. Men can also straighten their clothing, lick their lips or fix their hair, but they should also include things like hooking their fingers into their pants (if standing), suck in their stomach, or take deep breaths to increase the size of their chest. For both men and women, try to use preening body language that shows off your best features while enhancing what makes you, you.
Flirt With a Smile
There are few things better than receiving a genuine, radiant smile from a stranger, yet many people don't respond to them as a flirt tactic. Therefore, use your smile in conjunction with the other body language ideas listed in this article to ensure whomever you've got your eye on realizes a flirt is your intention.
Flirt By Pointing
No, not by using your finger silly. Instead, try to 'point' at the person you want to flirt with by moving your body towards them. Take your feet and make sure they are facing your flirt target, and use your shoulders to lean into them - even if you aren't speaking with them. Other ideas include facing your shoulders towards them or 'closing off' a space just for the two of you (such as crossing your legs towards each other).
Using Touch To Flirt
Look for opportunities where you can touch the person you want to flirt with, either 'accidentally' or otherwise. Shaking hands is an excellent flirt tactic, because not only does it place your hands together (which conveys a "higher level of intimacy" according to Alan and Barbara Pease), but it is easy way to combine flirting with an introduction. You could also try carefully and casually placing your hands on the person's arms to very gently 'move' them so you can pass by on your way to the bathroom, or lightly tap their arm while sharing a laugh. And if you aren't quite comfortable touching the person you want to flirt with quite yet, you can try mimicking their movements for a short period of time (i.e. a couple of seconds), instead.
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